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2) Hyper-Hyperlinked: You have an incredible urge to click all underlined words when reading the newspaper. -- Jackson Hewett 3) The New Agoraphobia: You haven't been outside in days because you work at home, all your friends are on ICQ, you can order all your food online, you've just downloaded a copy of The Matrix, and you're waiting for your eBay auction to end. -- Jason Thomas 4) To Market, to Market: Your dog's Web site has an IPO. -- Dan Kohansby 5) Ping-Pong Machine: The message on your telephone answering machine is something like, "Hi, you've reached the address of www.JoeSmith.net; please leave your IP address, and I'll ping you as soon as I can." -- Rex Johnson 6) The Writing's on the Wall: All of your hand-written notes and letters are written in Graffiti hand-strokes. -- Marcus J. Albers 7) Do You Deliver? You think nothing of spending ten hours searching the Net for the perfect desktop icon, but going five steps down the street for food is too much bother. -- Beth Slick 8) Parental Control: When your five-year-old daughter asks a question, you tell her to go "Ask Jeeves." -- Chantelle Conti 9) World Untraveler: You have enough frequent flyer miles on your credit card to go around the world 11 times, but you haven't left your apartment in two years. -- Kevin McCarthy 10) You're Reading This! Even worse: You're going to forward it to someone else. -- Herb Schwabe
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